While watching a movie the other evening, I heard one character shout this line to another character. It got me thinking … can a leader be a friend to team members; or, must there be a line separating the leader from the team?
To answer this question, let me begin by repeating something that those who regularly follow this blog already know … there is a significant difference between being a leader and being a boss. As my first agency manager, Ray, always reminded us, “A boss is just a Double SOB spelled backwards.” Bosses are typically authoritarian figures who often demonstrate the negative traits of whatever their dominant personality type might be.
- Bossy, controlling, argumentative, overly aggressive, insensitivity, thoughtless.
- Suspicious, uncompromising, constantly on guard, accusatory, distrustful.
- Easily hurt by criticism, feelings of helplessness, poor coping skills.
- Excessively emotional, overly dramatic, whining, loud, boisterous, scattered and hyperactive, self-centered.
Great Leaders recognize that there is room for friendship but also recognize where they may act less as a friend and more as a leader.
- Because they are the leader, they must sometimes deliver bad news; but, they do so in a manner that communicates the importance of the message while avoiding belittling any person or delivering the message in a demeaning way.
- Because they are the leader, they must sometimes take corrective actions; but, they do so in ways that honor the good intent of the follower even when the action was unsatisfactory or inappropriate.
- Because they are the leader, they must make hard decisions; but, they make those decisions with an effort to deliver the most positive outcomes for the team.
Can a leader be a friend and a leader? I believe the answer is yes so long as all parties recognize and acknowledge that there will be times when the Great Leader must act less like a friend and more like a leader.
Have you had the experience of working with a leader that you also considered a friend? Share your experience, where things went well and times when the friendship was tested, by clicking on “Comment”.
Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at tom.hoisington@eagleoneresources.com