“I’m Not Your Friend … I’m Your Boss”

While watching a movie the other evening, I heard one character shout this line to another character. It got me thinking … can a leader be a friend to team members; or, must there be a line separating the leader from the team?

To answer this question, let me begin by repeating something that those who regularly follow this blog already know … there is a significant difference between being a leader and being a boss. As my first agency manager, Ray, always reminded us, “A boss is just a Double SOB spelled backwards.” Bosses are typically authoritarian figures who often demonstrate the negative traits of whatever their dominant personality type might be.

  • Bossy, controlling, argumentative, overly aggressive, insensitivity, thoughtless.
  • Suspicious, uncompromising, constantly on guard, accusatory, distrustful.
  • Easily hurt by criticism, feelings of helplessness, poor coping skills.
  • Excessively emotional, overly dramatic, whining, loud, boisterous, scattered and hyperactive, self-centered.

Great Leaders recognize that there is room for friendship but also recognize where they may act less as a friend and more as a leader.

  • Because they are the leader, they must sometimes deliver bad news; but, they do so in a manner that communicates the importance of the message while avoiding belittling any person or delivering the message in a demeaning way.
  • Because they are the leader, they must sometimes take corrective actions; but, they do so in ways that honor the good intent of the follower even when the action was unsatisfactory or inappropriate.
  • Because they are the leader, they must make hard decisions; but, they make those decisions with an effort to deliver the most positive outcomes for the team.

Can a leader be a friend and a leader? I believe the answer is yes so long as all parties recognize and acknowledge that there will be times when the Great Leader must act less like a friend and more like a leader.

Have you had the experience of working with a leader that you also considered a friend? Share your experience, where things went well and times when the friendship was tested, by clicking on “Comment”.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at tom.hoisington@eagleoneresources.com

What Is the Key to Successful Leadership?

Have you ever heard someone tell another person to just “tell ’em what to do … they’ve got to do what you say … you’re the boss”? Of course, we have all heard a statement that, while it may not contain those exact words, certainly relies on the concept of a job title for its authority. Leaders who rely on their job title for their authority are, at best, mediocre leaders. They are relying on what is often referred to as “position power”.

Great Leaders, on the other hand, rely on what is known as “personal power”. This is the influence that they have on others; the authority that they derive from their followers, the people who have recognized traits or characteristics that they have chosen to ally themselves with and to willingly follow. These include …

  • Professional expertise – this is simply the recognition of a level of knowledge that surpasses the norm.
  • Business acumen – the leader has established a reputation for making the right decisions at the right times.
  • Experience – while very few can truly say that they’ve seen it all, experience is a vital component of personal power. Past experiences can help leaders make better decisions, pursuing paths that lead to success while avoiding actions that, in the past, have created more problems than they have solved.
  • Personal loyalty – the leader has demonstrated loyalty to team members, supporting them in their times of need; accepting responsibility when outcomes have not met expectations while deflecting blame away from the team; crediting the team for successes.

Great Leaders understand that they can have a tremendous influence on outcomes, not by issuing orders but by offering suggestions; by asking questions that lead team members to the answers that they seek; by guiding inquiries and actions.

Click “Comment” and share your experiences working with a Great Leader who influenced you and helped you grow personally and/or professionally.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at tom.hoisington@eagleoneresources.com

Do Great Leaders Rely on Facts or Trust Their Intuition?

Last week, we looked at the decision making process of the Organizer personality who is a sensing, logical, thinker who relies on facts, figures, data … things that can be seen, touched, felt, and studied when making decisions. This week, we will contrast this with the decision making process of a Commander personality.

COREMAP(tm) teaches us that the Commander personality is an intuitive, thinking, logical, decision maker who is quite comfortable relying on his/her “gut feelings” when making decisions. In fact, even when presented with facts, figures, and demographics in support of a specific course of action, the Commander personality will often counter with the statement that, “while the facts and figures may say that we should do A, my gut tells me that we should do B. I’m going with my gut on this”. To the Organizer personality, this tendency to rely on intuition and “gut feelings” is uncomfortable and feels irrational.

However, this willingness to trust “gut feelings” empowers the Commander personality to be decisive and provides both the confidence and the willingness to take the lead and accept the responsibilities of leadership in order to ensure that the desired outcome is reached. Their decisiveness and confidence will frequently command the respect of others; but, it can also intimidate the less confident and the more introverted personalities.

Great Leaders who have a dominant Commander personality are quick thinking and level headed in times of stress and emergencies. Great Leaders also recognize that they cannot do everything themselves and are good delegators who find the right person for the job and inspire that person to greatness. Great Leaders are highly motivated to see those that they lead succeed in their own right. They are always willing to listen to the ideas of others and implement those ideas when they provide a better way to reach a goal; and, they give full credit to the one who provided the suggestion. At the same time, they have the self-confidence to reject those ideas that are contrary to their own ideas of what is right and what is wrong, what will work and what will not.

Have you had the privilege of working with a Commander personality and witnessing his/her decision making process? Click “Comment” and share your experiences.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at tom.hoisington@eagleoneresources.com

Is That Pause Indecision or a Moment to Consider the Facts?

“Now wait … let’s think this through.”

Do these words sound like the reaction of a Great Leader to someone’s suggested course of action? If you are like most people, you’re probably thinking that these words sound indecisive; like the words of an individual who has little or no self-confidence. However, they could well be the words of a Great Leader who has a dominant Organizer personality.

COREMAP(TM) teaches us that Organizer leaders are sensing, logical, thinkers who rely on facts, figures, data … things that they can see, touch, feel, study when making decisions. They think things through rather than go with their “gut reactions”. To know that they have made the right decision, Organizers need to know that they have considered all possible courses of action; have thought about all of the benefits that can be derived from the decision or the potential for unintended consequences of each course of action.

When given the time to weigh all factors, Organizer leaders are able to be decisive and rock-steady in their pursuit of the determined course of action. If the ultimate decision is different from their original idea, they are able to endorse the other person’s idea with conviction because they have weighed the benefits versus the costs and are convinced that it is the best course to pursue. Likewise, if they truly believe that the actions proposed by another are not in the team’s best interest, they can voice their opposition with graciousness and in a manner that shows the proposer that his/her suggestion has been heard, considered, and acted upon.

Great Leaders make every team member feel valued and know that they have been heard. Great Leaders who have Organizer personalities do this especially well for all of the reasons listed above. If you’ve worked with an Organizer Great Leader, click “Comment” below and share your experiences.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at tom.hoisington@eagleoneresources.com

Can a Great Leader “Play to Win” and Still be Ethical?

I once worked with a man who had an interesting way of viewing all potential actions. He asked himself if the action was ethical. He explained himself this way …

“Some will ask if a course being considered is legal. Many things are legal. However, just because there is no law prohibiting an act does not make that act ‘the right thing to do’. The more important questions must be ‘is it the right thing to do … is it the way I would want to be treated … does the course of action improve the lot not only of my business; but, does it benefit or harm the other party?”

This person is a Great Leader. Great Leaders in business recognize that they must “play to win”. They understand that, in the final analysis, the company must show a profit in order to succeed and survive.

Great Leaders also recognize that a reputation is a double-edged sword. Those who always choose to do the right thing … to make certain that deals truly benefit all parties … will have customers who are loyal and return time and time again; plus, those customers bring others with them and recommend that their friends do business with the firm as well.

Conversely, the individual who looks only at the immediate, short-term, picture will say and do anything to “do the deal”. This individual does not care if the customer truly benefits, only that the company does this deal. He or she will get a reputation for caring only about his/her own benefit and customers will look to do business with someone else … someone who is working toward the customer’s benefit.

Great Leaders win in business and in the game of life because they make ethical choices and do the right thing.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at tom.hoisington@eagleoneresources.com