“I’m Not Your Friend … I’m Your Boss”

While watching a movie the other evening, I heard one character shout this line to another character. It got me thinking … can a leader be a friend to team members; or, must there be a line separating the leader from the team?

To answer this question, let me begin by repeating something that those who regularly follow this blog already know … there is a significant difference between being a leader and being a boss. As my first agency manager, Ray, always reminded us, “A boss is just a Double SOB spelled backwards.” Bosses are typically authoritarian figures who often demonstrate the negative traits of whatever their dominant personality type might be.

  • Bossy, controlling, argumentative, overly aggressive, insensitivity, thoughtless.
  • Suspicious, uncompromising, constantly on guard, accusatory, distrustful.
  • Easily hurt by criticism, feelings of helplessness, poor coping skills.
  • Excessively emotional, overly dramatic, whining, loud, boisterous, scattered and hyperactive, self-centered.

Great Leaders recognize that there is room for friendship but also recognize where they may act less as a friend and more as a leader.

  • Because they are the leader, they must sometimes deliver bad news; but, they do so in a manner that communicates the importance of the message while avoiding belittling any person or delivering the message in a demeaning way.
  • Because they are the leader, they must sometimes take corrective actions; but, they do so in ways that honor the good intent of the follower even when the action was unsatisfactory or inappropriate.
  • Because they are the leader, they must make hard decisions; but, they make those decisions with an effort to deliver the most positive outcomes for the team.

Can a leader be a friend and a leader? I believe the answer is yes so long as all parties recognize and acknowledge that there will be times when the Great Leader must act less like a friend and more like a leader.

Have you had the experience of working with a leader that you also considered a friend? Share your experience, where things went well and times when the friendship was tested, by clicking on “Comment”.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

What Is the Key to Successful Leadership?

Have you ever heard someone tell another person to just “tell ’em what to do … they’ve got to do what you say … you’re the boss”? Of course, we have all heard a statement that, while it may not contain those exact words, certainly relies on the concept of a job title for its authority. Leaders who rely on their job title for their authority are, at best, mediocre leaders. They are relying on what is often referred to as “position power”.

Great Leaders, on the other hand, rely on what is known as “personal power”. This is the influence that they have on others; the authority that they derive from their followers, the people who have recognized traits or characteristics that they have chosen to ally themselves with and to willingly follow. These include …

  • Professional expertise – this is simply the recognition of a level of knowledge that surpasses the norm.
  • Business acumen – the leader has established a reputation for making the right decisions at the right times.
  • Experience – while very few can truly say that they’ve seen it all, experience is a vital component of personal power. Past experiences can help leaders make better decisions, pursuing paths that lead to success while avoiding actions that, in the past, have created more problems than they have solved.
  • Personal loyalty – the leader has demonstrated loyalty to team members, supporting them in their times of need; accepting responsibility when outcomes have not met expectations while deflecting blame away from the team; crediting the team for successes.

Great Leaders understand that they can have a tremendous influence on outcomes, not by issuing orders but by offering suggestions; by asking questions that lead team members to the answers that they seek; by guiding inquiries and actions.

Click “Comment” and share your experiences working with a Great Leader who influenced you and helped you grow personally and/or professionally.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

Do Great Leaders Rely on Facts or Trust Their Intuition?

Last week, we looked at the decision making process of the Organizer personality who is a sensing, logical, thinker who relies on facts, figures, data … things that can be seen, touched, felt, and studied when making decisions. This week, we will contrast this with the decision making process of a Commander personality.

COREMAP(tm) teaches us that the Commander personality is an intuitive, thinking, logical, decision maker who is quite comfortable relying on his/her “gut feelings” when making decisions. In fact, even when presented with facts, figures, and demographics in support of a specific course of action, the Commander personality will often counter with the statement that, “while the facts and figures may say that we should do A, my gut tells me that we should do B. I’m going with my gut on this”. To the Organizer personality, this tendency to rely on intuition and “gut feelings” is uncomfortable and feels irrational.

However, this willingness to trust “gut feelings” empowers the Commander personality to be decisive and provides both the confidence and the willingness to take the lead and accept the responsibilities of leadership in order to ensure that the desired outcome is reached. Their decisiveness and confidence will frequently command the respect of others; but, it can also intimidate the less confident and the more introverted personalities.

Great Leaders who have a dominant Commander personality are quick thinking and level headed in times of stress and emergencies. Great Leaders also recognize that they cannot do everything themselves and are good delegators who find the right person for the job and inspire that person to greatness. Great Leaders are highly motivated to see those that they lead succeed in their own right. They are always willing to listen to the ideas of others and implement those ideas when they provide a better way to reach a goal; and, they give full credit to the one who provided the suggestion. At the same time, they have the self-confidence to reject those ideas that are contrary to their own ideas of what is right and what is wrong, what will work and what will not.

Have you had the privilege of working with a Commander personality and witnessing his/her decision making process? Click “Comment” and share your experiences.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

Is That Pause Indecision or a Moment to Consider the Facts?

“Now wait … let’s think this through.”

Do these words sound like the reaction of a Great Leader to someone’s suggested course of action? If you are like most people, you’re probably thinking that these words sound indecisive; like the words of an individual who has little or no self-confidence. However, they could well be the words of a Great Leader who has a dominant Organizer personality.

COREMAP(TM) teaches us that Organizer leaders are sensing, logical, thinkers who rely on facts, figures, data … things that they can see, touch, feel, study when making decisions. They think things through rather than go with their “gut reactions”. To know that they have made the right decision, Organizers need to know that they have considered all possible courses of action; have thought about all of the benefits that can be derived from the decision or the potential for unintended consequences of each course of action.

When given the time to weigh all factors, Organizer leaders are able to be decisive and rock-steady in their pursuit of the determined course of action. If the ultimate decision is different from their original idea, they are able to endorse the other person’s idea with conviction because they have weighed the benefits versus the costs and are convinced that it is the best course to pursue. Likewise, if they truly believe that the actions proposed by another are not in the team’s best interest, they can voice their opposition with graciousness and in a manner that shows the proposer that his/her suggestion has been heard, considered, and acted upon.

Great Leaders make every team member feel valued and know that they have been heard. Great Leaders who have Organizer personalities do this especially well for all of the reasons listed above. If you’ve worked with an Organizer Great Leader, click “Comment” below and share your experiences.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

Can a Great Leader “Play to Win” and Still be Ethical?

I once worked with a man who had an interesting way of viewing all potential actions. He asked himself if the action was ethical. He explained himself this way …

“Some will ask if a course being considered is legal. Many things are legal. However, just because there is no law prohibiting an act does not make that act ‘the right thing to do’. The more important questions must be ‘is it the right thing to do … is it the way I would want to be treated … does the course of action improve the lot not only of my business; but, does it benefit or harm the other party?”

This person is a Great Leader. Great Leaders in business recognize that they must “play to win”. They understand that, in the final analysis, the company must show a profit in order to succeed and survive.

Great Leaders also recognize that a reputation is a double-edged sword. Those who always choose to do the right thing … to make certain that deals truly benefit all parties … will have customers who are loyal and return time and time again; plus, those customers bring others with them and recommend that their friends do business with the firm as well.

Conversely, the individual who looks only at the immediate, short-term, picture will say and do anything to “do the deal”. This individual does not care if the customer truly benefits, only that the company does this deal. He or she will get a reputation for caring only about his/her own benefit and customers will look to do business with someone else … someone who is working toward the customer’s benefit.

Great Leaders win in business and in the game of life because they make ethical choices and do the right thing.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

A Great Leader’s View of Character

Presidents’ Day morning. My “In Box” contains a quote from a Great Leader, President Abraham Lincoln, about a person’s character and reputation. Lincoln wrote, “A man’s character is like a tree, and his reputation like its shadow; the shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing”.

Reputations are funny things. In some instances, they are based entirely on facts. In other cases, they are based on perceptions held by individuals or groups of individuals. By way of comparison, let’s look at two fictional individuals that we will call Clay and Stone.

Clay has a reputation for being a real savvy businessman. He always seems to be in the right place at the right time; a guy who can turn a profit no matter what he does and no matter how adverse the situation may appear to be. It’s as if he has an “inside track” on information that no one else has … because he does. Clay has built his business and his reputation by using inside information to the detriment of those he exploits to his own personal benefit. If Clay were in the securities industry, he would be guilty of insider trading … of using information that is not available to the general public for personal profit … a criminal act. Clay has a reputation for being in the right place at the right time. But, his character is lacking a strong moral compass. In Clay’s mind, what he is doing is wrong only if he gets caught. If history teaches us anything, it teaches us that the sun moves; the shadow shifts; and, ultimately, the deeds done within the shadows of unethical behavior will be exposed and the wrong-doer will be caught.

Stone, on the other hand, has character. As a Great Leader, Stone is “the real deal”. When presented with opportunities, he first checks his personal moral compass and asks, “Is it legal; is it ethical; does it treat others as I would wish to be treated?” If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, he abstains and allows the opportunity to pass him by. Great Leaders such as Stone know that if they conduct themselves and their businesses in a manner that never calls into question their character or their morality, the world will beat a path to their doors for the opportunity to associate with them, to work with them, to do business with them. They will be presented with more opportunities than they will be able to handle; opportunities to grow personally, professionally, and financially.

Reputations are mere shadows of the person they purport to be; always shifting, intangible, subject to the shifting tides of opportunism and “what’s in it for me?”. Character, when it is grounded with a strong moral compass, is unyielding in the face of temptation. When the character of a Great Leader is consistently asking the three questions above, constantly and routinely reminding itself to do what is right both morally and ethically, it is then that this character stays away from temptation and keeps itself morally straight. Great Leaders present their character in their daily conduct and allow it to speak more loudly than any reputation can.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

How Does a Leader Differ From a Boss?

I love serving as a member of an Eagle Scout Board of Review. The view of true leadership, stated by a young man who has spent up to seven years studying and demonstrating leadership skills, is both insightful and awe inspiring. A question that I like to ask the candidates is simply, “What is the difference between a leader and a boss?” While no two candidates have ever given the same answer, here is brief summary of some of the answers I’ve heard.

  • Bosses – Bosses sit back and tell others what to do. They seldom do the jobs themselves. In fact, it’s very possible that they’ve never done the job they’re telling others to do. Bosses pass judgment … a lot. They seldom tell someone what they’ve done well; but, they can always tell that person everything that’s been done wrong. Bosses find fault and have a unique ability to crush a person’s desire to improve or create something.
  • Leaders – Leaders, on the other hand, tend to be very hands-on. They’re not afraid to dig right in and help get the job done. They don’t ask others to do things that they are not willing to do themselves. Leaders look for opportunities to provide genuine and deserved praise. Genuine praise is specific about what was well done (i.e., “you did a great job of identifying that client’s need and showing them how it could be met by our product) rather than an insincere and vacuous “nice job” or “you did good”.  When something has not been done well, leaders will typically help the team member review the job or situation, asking “what do you feel you did well? what do you think you could do differently/better next time?” They help team members discover solutions for themselves by asking guided questions and commending the team member when he/she comes up with the solution.

Great Leaders may be in charge of a project but they are not bosses. They do all of the things that leaders do above … and then some. They find ways to go the extra mile to help the team reach and surpass a goal or objective.

Click “Comment” below and share your experience with a Great Leader who led rather than bossed.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

Great Leaders’ Views of Helping Others Varies With Their Personality Type

Two weeks ago, I shared with you a friend’s view that committing even small acts of kindness required courage, risk, and sacrifice. We’ve had several conversations during the past week and he made a very valid point. It was that, “what does the individual person view as a sacrifice?”. He went on to cite how an outgoing person might view interaction as opposed to how a person who is not outgoing might view the same interaction with another person.

WOW! Has he made a good point. Consider the personality traits of the four COREMAP personality styles.

The Extroverted personalities, the Commanders and Entertainers among us, are very comfortable with interacting with others. In fact, interaction with others energizes both Commanders and Entertainers so much so that they will look for and create opportunities to do so.

  • Commanders tend to be interested in possibilities. For the Commander, helping another person is a step toward a brighter, more productive future. They see a situation requiring action and are born to be action takers. Reaching out to help another satisfies their need to affect outcomes.
  • Entertainers are friendly and tend to be curious about the unknowns. They are very adept at reading people and are excellent communicators and motivators For the Entertainer, that small, helpful, interaction is a chance to learn more about the other person; a chance to see what adventures their action can lead to; an opportunity to help another person reach their true potential.

Introverted personalities, Organizers and Relaters, are drained of their energy by interaction with others. For these individuals, interacting with others requires the commitment of a great deal of energy and for this reason they much prefer to stay quietly in the background

  • Organizers are very observant of details and abhor disorder and chaos. They tend to be good team players and will do what is necessary to ensure the success of the team. For the Organizer, the act of helping another presents the chance to bring order out of confusion; to learn facts and details that will help them solve problems; to take actions that promote the success of the team as a whole.
  • Relaters are very observant and tend to focus on the needs of others. For the Relater, committing a “random act of kindness” is all about meeting the needs of another person; resolving a problem with the aim of promoting the common good. Because these things are uppermost in their minds, Relaters are able to overcome their natural tendency to hang back in order to achieve these goals.

As my friend pointed out, in the final analysis, Great Leaders do not see that small act as a sacrifice. Rather, they see it as a part of their responsibility as a leader … to resolve problems; to take the actions that are required to create the desired outcome and lead the team to success; to help team members reach their full potential.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

GREAT LEADERS WELCOME 2015 WITH GOALS SET!

The great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar said that, “A goal properly set is halfway reached”. As we welcome the new year, Great Leaders will ask themselves these questions …

  • Are the goals I’ve set clear in my mind? Great Leaders recognize that, first, they must have a clear vision of the future that they want to create. This cannot be a collection of vague ideas. The Great Leader must have the clarity of thought to know precisely what they desire the future to look like.
  • Am I communicating my vision clearly and with specificity? Great Leaders understand that, having been given the privilege of leading a team, they now have the responsibility to deliver specific goals and objectives. They cannot allow team members to wander aimlessly in the wilderness of generalities that is populated with only the current industry buzzwords. The Great Leader must communicate their vision with clarity and in sufficient detail that team members can see themselves turning that vision into a reality. In essence, they empower the team members to feel the warmth of the goal attainment sun on their faces long before they complete the journey … they can smell the sweet smell of success that beckons them onward.
  • Do I have a road map in my mind that tells me what steps must be taken in order to traverse the path between vision and reality? If the Great Leader is to guide the team, he or she must know how to get from Point A (the vision) to Point B (making that vision a reality). Like the captain of a sailing vessel, the Great Leader must be able to identify the correct route and ensure that it is taken. There must be a specific course set and adhered to; no orders to the helmsman to set a course “thataway”.
  • Have I delegated tasks to the people most qualified to perform them? COREMAP shows us that each personality type has strengths and weaknesses that can significantly impact job performance. For example, if the job requires close attention to detail, it is probably best to assign that responsibility to an individual who has an Organizer personality (lives for policies and procedures that make certain that the job is done right) rather than to the person with a Commander personality (sees the “big picture” and prefers not to deal with details) or the person who has an Entertainer personality (may or may not know where to find the details). If the team has a number of clashing personalities, the Great Leader knows the importance of including a person who has a Relater personality, someone who is skilled at helping team members find common ground and building consensus.

Great Leaders will ask and answer these questions; make adjustments as needed, and then, monitor progress toward the goal. With these questions answered, the Great Leader has taken the all-important first steps toward reaching the goals and turning the vision into reality. Make 2015 your best year ever!

Have you set your goals? Care to share? Click “comment” to share your goals for 2015 and how you will turn those goals into reality.

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]

What Are the Key Ingredients When a Great Leader is Setting Goals?

Great Leaders face the end of the current year with a mixture of emotions. They feel a sense of nostalgia as they look back at the year that is ending. They feel pride in the accomplishments that have been recorded. They feel humbled by the recognition that, perhaps, not every goal has been reached (yet). They feel gratitude for the efforts of others that made goal attainment possible. They feel optimism that the coming year will bring new accomplishments and achievements. They feel excitement for the challenges ahead.

As we anticipate the coming of the New Year on Wednesday night, let’s take a few minutes to look at the goals we’ve set and the key ingredients that are needed if we are to reach the goals that we’ve established.

  • Have the goals been written down and made public? Great Leaders know that goal attainment requires some form of accountability. A quick search of the internet will yield a multitude of websites designed to help us set goals.  Some tell us to write them down on a piece of paper.  Others instruct us to record them in a page on-line.  Still others will suggest that we post them on one or more of our social media pages.  Whichever method we choose, the important thing is that we have them written down someplace so that we can see them regularly.  Making them public doesn’t necessarily mean that they must be posted to social media; but, it is important that others know about them and will hold us accountable for them. Remember that every Great Leader is accountable to someone or somebody; a Board of Directors perhaps. For our accountability partners to be able to hold us accountable for the goals we set, they must know what those goals are.
  • Are the goals we’ve set believable? For a goal to truly motivate us, we have to believe that we can achieve it.  W. Clement Stone wrote that, “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve”.  To believe, we must be able to visualize ourselves reaching the goal and feeling the satisfaction that will come with the achievement.
  • Are the goals we’ve set specific? Goals that are vague aren’t really goals.  They are vague suggestions that provide no ultimate end point. To be truly motivating, the goals we set must be very specific. If the goal is to purchase a new car, the goal should specify not only the year, make, and model. It needs to specify the color, the options, the interior finish; everything about the car down to and including that “new car smell”.
  • Is the goal measurable? For a goal to truly motivate us, we have to be able to see how we’re progressing toward it and to know when we’ve reached it.  Let’s assume that the goal is to create an emergency fund that has 2 months of actual living expenses in it.  Since we know that our basic living expenses are $2,000 each month, we know that we need $4,000 in the fund.  Each month, we deposit $167 into the account and, when we get our bank statement, we can see the balance increasing by not only the deposits we make but by the addition of interest as well.  Viewing the increasing balance each month allows us to measure our progress toward reaching the goal.
  • Does the goal challenge us? Our goals need to be big enough to make us stretch.  Doing just enough to get by may keep our heads above water, but it won’t help us grow.  The sales person who knows that by doing the same thing every year he/she can reach his/her quota won’t grow and advance.  But, the sales person who challenges himself/herself to increase sales by an amount that requires a bit more effort is the person who rises to the top of the organization; both in terms of professional responsibilities and financially.
  • Does the goal inspire us? As the great motivational speaker Jim Rohn once suggested, setting the goal of earning enough money to pay our bills may be a goal, but it seldom inspires anyone.  Goals that inspire us to “go the extra mile” lead us to greatness.
  • Does the goal have a deadline? My first agency manager, Ray, told everyone that “goals are simply dreams with deadlines”. “Someday” is not a deadline.  “Someday” is a dream … an illusion … a mirage that may appear to be leading us somewhere we want to go; but, is really leading us to nowhere. Goals with specific deadlines help us see exactly where we are and how close we are to reaching the desired end-result.
  • Do we have a plan for reaching the goal by the deadline? Great Leaders know that goal attainment requires more than wishful thinking and hope. Reaching the goals that we set requires that we have a plan that details the actions that must be taken to reach the goal by the deadline. Whether the goal is a personal goal, a professional goal, a short-term goal, or a long-term goal, we need a plan, a road map if you will, showing what must be done to reach the goal. This road map must include “way points” along the way that we can check off and say “got it” because the more often we get to check off a way point reached, the more motivated we become to reach the ultimate goal. There is a real sense of achievement each time we check off a way point and get to say the words “got it”.

One year from today, each of us will look back at what we have accomplished in 2015.  Will we like what we see; or, will we look back with regret for what might have been?  Only you can determine what you will see. Make 2015 your best year yet!

Tom Hoisington is a speaker, trainer, and author whose goal is to provide leaders and potential leaders with tools that empower them to build teams that are creative and cost effective along with a clearer understanding of how personality types interact within those teams. He can be contacted at [email protected]